I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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