Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
