FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
