Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
