Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
