he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The beer is more important than you right now.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
