There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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