Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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