I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
