She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The beer is more important than you right now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
