he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
