Umm I'm too high to move.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
