Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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