i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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