How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
