I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
