I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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