I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
