nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
