best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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