More tranny stories later!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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