Don't you send me to vm
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
