So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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