sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
