Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
