where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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