If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A bitchslap is in order.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
