so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
