What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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