Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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