please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
