So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
