Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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