Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
