ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
