everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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