That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the day after is always just damage control
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
