Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
