i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
