those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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