We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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