Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
