everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
