my soul wont recognize me after tonight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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