Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
