She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
