Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
