some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
