I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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