Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
