some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
