Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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