come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
